4 Boundaries to set as a person with Diabetes

October 31, 2024 | By Giann

Hey y’all! 

My name is Giann and I have had Type 1 Diabetes for 6 years. I was diagnosed as a senior in college as a lovely graduation present! I am currently pursuing my Master’s in Social Work in order to become a Certified Diabetes Care & Education Specialist. I have been using an Eversense CGM for 5 years. 

In honor of mental health month, I wanted to talk about how it relates to diabetes. While there are several areas of mental health to discuss as it pertains to diabetes, I thought I would start with a foundational concept - Boundaries. 

There is a definition of a boundary that has emerged thanks to two psychologists, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. They wrote the book “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life.”

To paraphrase, boundaries help define who we are. They help us navigate life knowing what is mine and what is someone else’s. This helps us have better relationships and support ourselves mentally, emotionally, and socially. 

I would like for you to think of a fence. I think that’s what we most commonly think of when it comes to boundaries. Not everyone has permission to cross that fence into your yard. You decide who comes in and out. And you decide your conditions for them to enter your yard. You decide if they can step on the grass or if they only walk on the path to the front door of your house. In other words, you have the control. 

The fence is a visual representation of us as individuals. We have boundaries we set around our heart and mind, not just the physical part of ourselves. We have fences, not walls that allow people in or out. 

So, I would encourage you to begin to evaluate the fence you have around you. Do you have one? Are there places where it needs to be repaired or created? 

Setting Boundaries

With all of this information, the question now is, “How do you set boundaries?” 

We start by examining our life. We look at who or what we allow in our fence. We might have good boundaries in one area but need help in others. Maybe you have good boundaries with your friends but not with your family. 

Once we identify areas to improve, we start creating or fixing those fences. This will look like having conversations with your partner, friends, family members or even healthcare providers. 

How does all of this relate to Diabetes? 

Boundary 1:

Your relationships with caregivers/spouses/partners - what input do they give you in your relationship with diabetes? What is their active role in your care and treatment? 

Example: My mom receives my Eversense E3 CGM readings for safety as I can have hypoglycemia unawareness especially at night. She only knows to call me if I am below a certain number for 3 or more readings or am dropping quickly. Other numbers, she does not comment on. Because my mom understands her boundaries with my diabetes, we have a better relationship. She is not constantly commenting or giving me advice about how I should treat it. 

Boundary 2:

Your relationship to your numbers/data - how are you letting what you see on your CGM/Glucometer affect you emotionally? Do you get mad/frustrated? How can you set a boundary for yourself when it comes to reading your data? Or testing your blood glucose?

Example: I know when my blood glucose levels have been out of range all day and nothing I am doing is helping my blood glucose come back into range, I can get really upset with myself. Instead of being frustrated, I like to refocus my mind by taking a quick walk. Another thing I like to do, is to put my Eversense CGM on do not disturb.

Boundary 3:

Your relationship to your endocrinologist/healthcare team – what do they say to you about your diabetes and how do they say it? Other aspects of your health? 

Example: If a doctor is constantly focusing on negative aspects of diabetes while you are pleased with your progress, make sure you can articulate that. It is ok to fill them in on the parts of life that are affecting your glucose levels. And work with them to find a compromise that you are both comfortable with.

Boundary 4:

Your relationship with yourself - how do you talk to yourself? Are you making time to care for your mental and emotional health? Do you practice self-care? 

Example: I regularly set boundaries with work and school by having one night a week where I either do something for myself or spend time with friends. This could look like journaling, reading, or meditating for 30 minutes a day, too. I also regularly see a therapist. 

Application:

Working on your boundaries

Identify a boundary you need to focus on - diabetes related or not.

If you’re not happy, what steps can you take to improve or who in your life can help you take a meaningful step forward?

Do more research on boundaries and consider seeking professional help if you feel it’s affecting your mental health.